justin_guber - @ 20six.co.uk

More Wrath of Tony

Another Wrath poster of mine own design. It reminds me of another movie poster, but I can't remember what. Grrr. Check out the cheesy tagline. Couldn't think of anything else.

1.11.05 05:25

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Hari Raya: Day 0 - the Eve of Raya

So it turns out the hotel/condo we're staying in here in Perak has a computer with adequate internet facilities, allowing me to transmit my usual bile to all you people.

Lucky you.

Whilst my mom's hometown is in Batu Gajah, a tiny town that boasts not only a KFC and a Parkson but also a Chicken King (made famous by the movie 'Sepet'), we're staying in a service condo in Ipoh. Just another sign that things aren't the way they used to be.

I was walking around with one of my cousins earlier and we both agreed on the same thing: Raya just ain't the same anymore. It's no longer 'meriah' (joyous). I personally feel that our parents and relatives are trying to uphold the tradition of going back to their hometowns and 'celebrating', holding on to the past, when really it's a time that, more than ever, requires new traditions.

Yes. You heard me. New traditions. Variations of the past ones. This tradition of going back to Batu Gajah, that was my grandparents' tradition. I have the strongest feeling that it's high time my parents made their own, one of their own design, something that packs the same punch as when my grandparents were around.

Because continuing this family tradition when so much has changed is less joyous and more depressing. One can't help but compare to days gone by. My cousin and I couldn't help but notice how the house in Batu Gajah seemed more packed before, the food more fulfilling, the smiles and laughs more frequent and the fireworks more explosive.

Yup. Thanks to irresponsible jackasses the nation over we are now no longer legally allowed to blow shit up. No crackers, no rockets (well, decent ones anyway), just sparklers. Shitty little sparklers. Bring on the roman candles and bigass crackers that look like sticks of dynamite!

But this is some time off from the usual hustle and bustle of the city, which is good, although I've still brought my laptop and have a whole bunch of things I want to get done whilst I'm away from KL.

I know this sounds bad, but I personally can't wait till Sunday rolls around and I'm back in the hood.

Have a good one people. Selamat Hari Raya, sorry for the zahirs and batins.

2.11.05 14:57

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Hari Raya: Day 1 - Nosebleeds, Boredom, Fevers and Ketupat

The night before, thanks to my trusty laptop, I watched Guy Ritchie's latest outing, 'Revolver', before going to bed.

I still haven't a clue what he was trying to do with that movie, or what it was really about, for that matter. Although it did look cool.

Then, this morning, I woke up at the break of dawn to go for morning prayers when blood started gushing from my nose. Same thing happened last night at KFC (and a note to those Cheesy Wedges fans: whilst they don't sell it in KL anymore they still do in Perak). Great. This was accompanied by wooziness and I hadn't even arrived at the mosque yet.

So, after visiting my grandparents' graves, I set off to the doctors where he told me I had a fever, I may have sinusitis and I have to stay away from all the gloriously spicy foods that are served during this festive occasion. Great. Like I listened. I stuffed myself with ketupat and kuah kacang (the only thing I've been eating from breakfast till dinner), took my medicine and tried to doze off.

And that's all I've been doing. Dozing off. Occasional visits to the mamak stall to get my fix of nescafe and condensed milk, but other than that, I've been spending my first day of Raya sleeping.

Sleeping and drawing storyboards.

Sunday couldn't come sooner.

3.11.05 14:15

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Hari Raya: Day 2 - Eat, Motherfucker.

I knew it would happen sooner or later. The feasting. The extreme consumption of various foods regardless of time or stomach status. Eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat.

Goddamn, I'm bloated.

The day began at my uncle's house where things finally felt like Hari Raya. All the relatives were there, everybody was in a jovial mood and the food was in full abundance. After that it was other relatives' houses and the food tally went something like this:

1. Ketupat and kuah kacang, 5 large servings of.

2. Roast turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed and sweet potatoes (courtesy of my Irish cousin-in-law), 3 large servings of.

3. Soto, 2 large servings of.

4. Assorted kuih-muih's, 8 handfuls of.

5. Sirap and sarsi, 2 jugs of.

6. Maggi goreng kosong + tular mata (we somehow ended up at a mamak too), 1 serving of.

7. Coffee, two pots of.

We've been driving all over Ipoh which has left my ass permanently numb. We left the hotel at 9.00am and got back at 11.30pm. I am officially knackered and I think my CD player is fucking with me. I stuck in an mp3 mix CD of mine own design and set it to random, but no matter how many times I skip the track it refuses to play certain bands and repeatedly plays others. It seems to hate AC/DC and Lords of Acid but loves Cindy Lauper and Kenny Loggins. I've listened to 'Footloose' about 15 times today.

Tomorrow there's one more house to go to in Perak, a huge gathering of ALL relatives from my mom's side. It's some kind of agreement her grandfather and his brothers made to have a meet every two years. The last time I went I was shocked at how many people I'm related to, and how few of them I actually now.

After that we go back to KL to freshen up then go to my dad's kampung, which is straight up OG kampung-stylee. Cows and chickens and fields as far as the eye can see. Hopefully I'll be leaving before them at night (under the excuse that I have to prepare for work on Monday) giving me Sunday in KL.

Hope everyone's getting as fat as I am. I think my small intestine just blew up.

4.11.05 15:57

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Hari Raya - Days 3 & 4: the Weekend

Friday night I slept incredibly late. My parents and relatives were singing on the karaoke machine till 2:30am and let's just say the rooms aren't exactly designed to be soundproof. Regardless, I still had to wake up early Saturday morning for the Big Meet.

The Big Meet happens once every two years. My grandfather and his two brothers started this tradition that every two years, the three brothers and their children and grandchildren all congregate at one of the brothers' houses.

Let's just say my grandfather and his brothers (and their respective children) got quite jiggy with it. There were over 120 people there, and I knew maybe twenty of them.

After that, it was a drive down to KL, chill out for a while, freshen up, unpack, re-pack and off to my dad's hometown, the village of Rembau in Negeri Sembilan (after a three hour traffic jam on the highway in the rain).

Now this was some serious old school village going on. I woke up on Sunday on the floor to the sound of a cockeral and we proceeded to go from house to house all morning till noon.

I've always found the village kinda boring. There's nothing much to do and I don't know the relatives on my dads side as well as I do the ones on my mom's side. The only thing that perked my interest was watching a chicken fight a 7 inch long centipede, a real big red motherfucker that looked like it could sting you to death. The chicken won hands down and proceeded to eat the bugger. There was a Jet Li movie based on this. I think it was Once Upon A Time In China 5.

After the Sunday morning trips to relatives I don't know I finally managed to weasel my dad into letting me leave back to KL early. I drove straight to my girlfriends' house, picked her up and spent the rest of the evening watching DVD's and chilling out.

And now, back to the pit.

...

...damn, I gotta work on my endings.

7.11.05 02:59

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The Funny, The Action Packed, The Confusing & The Downright Horrific

So I've been watching a couple of movies lately:
First off, the comedy I've been raving about to my colleagues the second I got into the office that I highly, supremely, God-almightily recommend with all the juices in my loins, The 40 Year Old Virgin. This movie is fucking hillarious and I couldn't say enough good things about it. I haven't had a movie that made me laugh this consistently throughout the whole movie in a long time.
See, one thing I've noticed recently is that most comedies have been falling into the 'story-gag-story' routine. Show ten minutes of the story, then show a gag for about two minutes, then another ten minutes of story.
The really good comedies, though, are the ones where story and gag go hand in hand. 'Aeroplane!' is one such example (although I'll be the first to admit there wasn't that much in terms of story to begin with), 'Theres Something About Mary' too had a good story-gag ratio, and so does this movie. It has it in frickin' spades and I love it to bits.
And it's not just Steve Carrell, though. I loved the guy from the moment he opened his mouth in 'Anchorman' and the dude is on top form, but so are his cohorts, and that guy who played Alicia Silverstone's love interest in 'Clueless' keeps surprising me. First 'Anchorman', now this. Looks like he's put that incredibly stiff character from 'Gen Y Cops' behind him (was it just me, or did he look incredibly bored in that movie?).
More than anything, this is a great guy-flick. For those not in the know, a guy-flick is not a movie filled with tits and guns. Those are movies guys dig. A guy-flick is like a chick-flick for guys (which don't often feature guns but tits are more than welcome).
The execution is different, but the result is still the same, a movie about guys going through the troubles of meeting a girl that makes those watching it go, "yeah!" (as opposed to the female response to chick flicks involving a box of Kleenex and several large quantities of Haagen Daz). My favourite guy-flick of all time has been 'Swingers' and this movie looks set to come up as number 2.
Incidentally, my favourite chick-flick is 'French Kiss'. I've got one of my ex-girlfriends (who'd probably prefer to remain unnamed) to thank for that. Great humor, great performances from Kevin Kline and Meg Ryan and a whole-lotta sweetness.
Then there's the not-as-funny-but-still-quite-funny The Longest Yard. Now, to me Adam Sandler movies fall under two categories: the ones where he's a regular Joe with a tendency to lose his temper (a la Happy Gilmore and Big Daddy) and the ones where he's a complete fucktard (a la Billy Madison and Little Nicky). I prefer the ones where he's not a fucktard, although he doesn't lose his temper that much in this (which isn't a bad thing).
Yet another remake of the original 'The Longest Yard' that starred the man Jason Lee's characters will always refer to in a Kevin Smith movie, Burt Reynolds, this one has the trademark Sandler humor, complete with the 'You can do it' guy himself, Rob Schneider (who I think is about as funny as syphillis). Stand out comedy moments in this movie come courtesy of the supporting cast more than anything, from the security guard who's steroids are swapped with oestrogen ("Why are you yelling at me? I only cared!") to the man who can get you McDonalds on the inside ("It ain't eeeeasssyyy being cheeessy!"), with Sandler playing the straight guy.
And damn, did Courtney Cox's tits grow or what?
From the funny silly to the funny cool: The Transporter 2. Better than the first one by a long shot, Jason Statham will probably seal his status as action-man-supremo with this one (although what's going on with his accent, I have no idea. At least it's better than the dodgy Bronx-Cockney one he used in 'The One'). Watch him as he kicks, punches, swings, drives, jumps, flies, swims, rides and opens very large factory-sized cans of whupass.
And if you're wondering why that chick is always on the poster with him, I'll tell you why: she's super hot and super badass. It's like Bridgette Nielsen in Beverly Hills Cop 2 without the fucked-up accent and super deep voice. Any baddie-chick who only wears lingerie and fishnet stockings whilst sporting two incredibly huge guns is ok by me.
But be warned: this is the type of movie where 'suspension of disbelief' takes on a whole new meaning. If no ones told you yet about the scene I'm talking about, I shall give you a clue: car + bomb underneath + 360 flip + hook on crane = hero saved + car intact.
And then there's Revolver.
...
Yeah, Revolver.
Um...
Can someone please tell me what the fuck this is about?
Although I do admit, it's very pretty.
Oh, and the asassin in it is pretty cool.
...
This is the same guy that did Snatch?
Finally, the downright horrific: Haute Tension. Yes, it's also known as 'Switchblade Romance' and 'High Tension' but if you're hitting up the DVD stalls and shops, look for the one with the French title. Apparently the other versions have a couple minutes shaved off and you really should experience this movie in all it's gory glory.
To quote one of my favourite rock bands, AC/DC, "if you want blood, you got it". Blood flows, sprays, oozes and keeps on coming. This movie is bloody like nobodies business and it's 100% frightening. This is how horror movies used to be made - a haunting sense of dread followed by non-stop terror and a feeling at the end of the movie that makes you feel like you really need to watch a comedy just to calm shit down.
Hmmm... I lent my copy to Tony. I wonder what he thought of it?
And that's that. I'm off to do some 'FX' shots, for want of a better word, for my movie. I need to turn some of the footage I've shot into the same kind of visual quality as a pirated movie copy movie. Ciaoza.

7.11.05 09:42

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Ciplak: Production - Day 6

Day 6 (yesterday) lasted approximately 20 minutes. But it was 20 minutes well spent.

At 7.00pm I was sat at the steps of the HELP Institute reading my newly purchased P. Ramlee bio whilst waiting for my D.O.P., the trusty Ariff, and Mr. Wong. I had called Mr. Wong before about shooting in the HELP auditorium, which he allowed, but we only had a window of time of about 20 minutes because we were shooting just before they screened the KSFM Documentaries (which I didn't attend, unfortunately).

Now, why would we be shooting in the auditorium, you may ask? For an FX shot.

Yes, an FX shot.

You see, in the first fifteen minutes of the movie the main character (played by me) explains to the viewers about the many different qualities a pirated movie can be, and as he explains them, the movie's audio/visual quality changes to the type of copy he's talking about. I needed to turn bits of my footage into off-line edit copies (complete with running time-code), promo copies (with 'Not for sale or rental' scrolling across) and, of course, cinema copies.

The projectionist, Khairul, projected the footage I had burnt on DVD onto the screen and it was the first time I saw my footage that big, which was a strange experience. The colours all came out pretty good, as did the sound. Ariff then set up the camera in the front rom towards the side, used the strap from my bag to wrap the lens' edges to make it look like the camera's hidden in the bag, and shot the footage as it played and I walked across.

Well, I didn't really walk, I shuffled on my knees because we were in the front row, but the effect is still the same. When I watched the rushes I flipped. It really looks like some cheap-o cinema copy D5 piece of shit!

How often do you get a filmmaker happy about how shit his scene looks?

We then did the 'good cinema copy' scene where we went to the seats halfway up the auditorium, pulled out the monopod and kept it as steady as possible. For some reason everything came out green a la the Matrix, even though the image projected was fine. We tried fooling around with the white balance but we just made it worse. Ah, well, fix it in post.

I'm fixing a lot in post.

As we left, I bumped into Amir Muhammad as he was entering the building and later, in Mcdonalds together with Eddy, I met The Visitor. He'll be cameo-ing in the movie at some point, as will Eddy and loads of other guys I know. I'm packing this movie to the brim with friends.

Later that night I met up with my girlfriend and a friend of hers who looked, at the most, 25. I later found out she was 30 with 2 kids. Whatever she's using, it works.

At some point this week I'm also going to try and turn some of the other footage into 'off-line copy' quality (the copies you get which are obviously stolen from the editing suites). The plan is to (a) burn the footage as a VCD on a CD-ROM, (b) play the footage on my DVD player and record it via analogue cables onto my VCR, (c) record the VCR copy via analogue cables onto my DV camera, (d) firewire that footage into my computer. It's a lot of fuss for about 20 seconds of footage but if it works, it'll be worth it.

Then, from this Friday till Monday, it'll be a hectic 4-day shoot. Ariff will only be free on Sunday so it looks like Tony will be covering for the other days whenever he can. Friday I shoot the rest of my solo scenes and pick-ups of KL streets, Saturday I shoot my parents' scene and my Back-to-the-Future-homage action sequence, Sunday I shoot Peter Brown's scene and my beaten & bruised scenes with Nazneen and Monday I re-shoot Saiful's scene and a few pick-ups of Farah's scene that we didn't get before. After that, I need to shoot the other Farah (we have two Farah's) and voila: shoot finished. Then I just have to wait for the footage from the UK and I can finally sit down and really edit the fucker. I'm planning to get all footage done by this month, by hook or by crook.

Here comes the boom.

8.11.05 03:33

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All About the Brown, the Methods of Manliness and My Momma Don't Take No Shit

Goddamn I was exhausted last night. I mean, seriously exhausted. You see, throughout the Hari Raya (Eid) celebrations, I didn't get much sleep. The weeks before that, I didn't get much sleep. After Raya, I still didn't get much sleep.

And, as obvious as the fact may seem, the lack of sleep is getting to me.

When I was hitting up a cup of coffee with Naren, I already felt it coming. I found myself yawning (sorry, Naren) quite a bit and thinking to myself, "it's fucking seven thirty. Why would I be sleepy?" By the time I went to see my girlfriend I was flat out dead. We went to her car after dinner and I cuddled up on her lap like a stray cat with fleas and passed out for about 10 minutes. I could hardly move.

But I had to. Movement is important. Read through of the script with Peter Brown at 10.00pm. Must dash. Get up, stand up, don't give up the fight.

Ah, yes. The Brown. I love the Brown. Peter (or Hassan, whichever name pleases you most) is a wonderful person and, as it turns out, the most dedicated actor on this ramshackle production yet. I got to his house at around 10.30pm, ready for the read through, when Man Method called.

"When do you need the footage by?" he asked.

"November would be great. December's ok," I replied, "why?"

I then discover my Man with the Method will be stuck with heavy-duty work till January.

Eek.

But there are one or two windows of opportunity and he may be able to shoot the stuff this weekend. If he had storyboards, that is.

Shite. I haven't done the boards. I asked him,

"Would I really be putting you out if I asked you to get the footage done within the small windows of opportunity this and next month?"

"Yeah, but it's alright."

I've put someone out already. Shit.

After the call, it was down to readthroughs and even though Peter hasn't really crafted most of the character yet, I am impressed. His scene should prove quite funny indeed. And what's great is that we spent a good hour just talking about character: should he be camp and melodramatic, or a bit more sinister and dark? What should he wear? Hairstyles? Que?

Leaving at 11.30pm, I wondered whether I should (a) go home (which was very close by) and sleep or (b) go to Taman Tun and get these storyboards done. I was tired as fuck but I reasoned that if I'm putting Saj out I should put myself out too. Off to Taman Tun, doodle the boards, scan 'em, stick 'em in photoshop to put in some notes, burn it to CD and e-mail it at work the next day.

Then, this morning, whatdya know? My parents aren't free for this Saturday for me to shoot them (on film, not with an assault riffle). Then my mom turns to me and says,

"I'm not acting in it if the word 'shit' is in the script."

"Don't worry, you're character doesn't say 'shit'".

"No. If the word 'shit' is in the script. Anywhere. I don't want to be associated with a movie like that."

Hmmm. In my attempt to stay away from the word 'fuck', I've used 'shit', 'arse', 'arse-biscuits', 'twadger', 'bollocks' and 'bitch', and those are just the ones I can remember off the top of my head.

I foresee a few problems.

9.11.05 04:05

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How Punk Are You?

Refer to this list here, the 101 rules of punk. Fuckin' hillarious.

And I think I'm a bit suspect.

9.11.05 07:18

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Current State Of Mind

Sleep. Need. Need sleep. Sleep needed. Poontang. Sleep.

Gawdemmit.

Can't seem to get my head straight. Hands've got the shakes. Can't focus. Keep trying to think about how to solve a bunch of the problems I have on the movie and can't think of anything.

Boo-locks.

Right side of my brain hurting. It's always the right side, never the left, just the right. Throb, throb, throbbing away. Pointy sharp ouch ouch. Makes it tough to keep my eye open.

Sleep. Rest. A quick joygasm, perhaps.

There are times when I feel like I've gone a bit too far, thinking I can pull off all the things I'm planning to pull off in this time frame. There's the album, there's the movie... fuck, the San Fran film fest final submission date is 9 December. Can I get it in by then? Will I be dead? Who knows. We'll see.

Oh, fuck me dead.

But yes. Times where I feel like 'fuck it'. Hang up the dreams and concentrate on my job purely for the income it gives me and do fuck all after work besides eat, play video games and watch DVD's.

Only thing is, I know that if I ever resorted to this, the moment I slip in a DVD I'll think about how I'm not trying to achieve my dreams.

And, after reading an e-mail I received from an old friend of mine, Ramteen (who found my e-mail via this blog), that filled me with smiles and confidence, I don't think I have it in me to quit.

The only question is whether I have it in me to keep going.

9.11.05 09:42

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